Life in Prison (9-29-06)
by P. F. Lazor (Ione, California)
P. F. Lazor writes:
Dear Darwin & Laura,
Thank you for (another)
COG Messenger Newsletter, (Sept./Oct. 06). I believe this is the first I received with this title. Shall I assume this is a new name
given to your same newsletter I've been getting these few years? It had some excellent articles - as they always do.
Laura Lee
writes:
P. F. Lazor writes:
Thank you for
putting me in the Prayer Request/Updates box. It says as a description of my condition, "dehydrated." While that is true, that only
pictures a tiny aspect of the reality that has lasted some 2½ + months, "Torture" would be a much more accurate description if limited
to a one - word description, "Torture in prison" even more telling. I am glad to be momentarily out of that condition (partially),
but the sad fact is they will be putting me thru it again (& then again & again & again, if I don't die from it next time;
& next & next). They dehydrate then starve me till I'm near dead and just about beyond the point where the body can be saved,
and then infuse me with I-V's (& juice this time), to where I'm hydrated again and thus can eat again. In the prison infirmary
they even fed me relatively edible food (-which proves they can get and have relatively non-toxic food but won't issue it as a general
rule to prisoners). As soon as they've gotten me out of critical condition, they immediately remove the juice and edible food, so
I cycle back into dehydration until it gets so extreme that I can't eliminate and therefore can't eat - and on and on and on goes
the cycle. In and out of extreme cachexia which each time pounds and weakens the body further toward death from the repeat cataclysms
on the body until finally death will result. I've been thru the cycle generally 100's of times, and 13 of these very close to death
where it was doubtful I could be kept alive (brought back from too much damage - point of no return). It's a very real form of TORTURE-RUSSIAN
ROULETTE, which eventually, INEVITABLY will result in death.
So, you can see, this is quite a bit more than mere "dehydration."
The
coup de gras, this time, was a guard, Mr. Hernandez, stealing my Hot Pot (along with many other items of my personal and legal property
- enough items to fill a full page, when listed out). This marks more than 85 times in 23 years that robber - guards have simply looted
my personal property, robbing whatever they desired. Sometimes even "grand theft" - over $500's, and other times over $2000's worth
at a time - not to mention the priceless and irreplaceable legal document and music compositions, art and etc.
But the hotpot
was the way I could distill a little water to get by - which now is gone and prison regulations bar them from coming in again. (The
type which boil, as needed for this). So, what little bits of water from the tap I try now, makes me so sick and gives me other such
extreme reactions (severe pain in different areas), that it will soon drive me back into the dehydration - starvation cycle. I can
tell how much Satan loves it by the glee expressed by prison nurses, MTA's, guards, doctors and administrators when they see me tortured
right to the brink of death hoping this time I won't bounce back to life in time. I think most readers of your
newsletter (and most
of the public, at least in the USA, are not aware and will not accept that most prison employees are thoroughly demon possessed; hence
this recurrent scenario for their sport and joy).
In the midst of this, I have been able to pray for, bless, forgive, and have
mercy toward these relentless persecutors. It is a cleansing and spiritually embellishing experience - one that for many years had
been impossible for me to do, but I have been able to now.
The experience of the damage to my mind, aside from the damage to
the body, is so stark and searing and blight -stricken in every layer of my being, that with my best efforts my mental capacity, memory,
state of confusion and specific capability impairment is much like having advanced Alzheimer's disease. So, I hope recovery from all
that will come (though the next cycle will no doubt result in another bout of this), and I hope this letter is reasonable coherent
and legible (they've stolen my typewriter again too -- 24th one).
Blessings to you and yours, and thank you for remembering me.
P.
S.: You can publish my letter if you wish; and please keep me in prayer and on the prayer list.
